Rid The Working Mom Guilt
If you are a mom, a SAHM, working mom, entrepreneurial mom, you've felt guilt. If you tell me you've never felt guilt throughout motherhood I actually don't believe you, but nice try.
I know the feeling of being pulled in a few directions and feeling guilty that one area is getting more of you than another. Before motherhood I worked for others but the first 8 months of my son’s life I was a stay-at-home-mom, and from then on i've been a business owner.
There's nothing wrong with choosing to be a SAHM. I was raised my a great SAHM. There's no right or wrong way. However, I was recently in a room full of business owners, predominately mothers, when I heard Samantha Ettus speak about guilt being the number one predator of women, specifically the guilt felt by mothers with careers and businesses. Samantha also stated that “On average daughters of working moms end up earning 23% more in their own careers than daughters of SAHMs.”
Some working mamas may not realize all the less obvious benefits of working while raising kiddos. According to Kathleen McGinn, a professor of business administration and co-author of the Harvard Business School study finding that children, particularly girls, benefit from having a mother who works outside the home because "Women who were raised with moms who worked outside the home are more likely to be employed than women whose moms stayed home full time. They earn more money in the jobs that they do hold. And those women who do work are significantly more likely to hold supervisory responsibility in their jobs. So they earn more money and they're more powerful at work."
Guess what the study also found? Sons of working mothers did better when it came to domestic duties. “Of U.S. men surveyed, those who had working mothers spent nearly twice as many hours on family and child care as those hailing from more traditional households – a weekly average of 16 hours compared to 8 1/2 hours.”
I was thinking about these points, after my 4 year old and I were rounding the corner to school this morning, (me wearing, I kid you not, this exact same outfit that I wore when I left for my last work trip) and a question came from the back seat.
Omni Riverfront Hotel, New Orleans Louisiana
“Mama why do you work from home?”
I said “Well, when I had you…”
G cut me off saying “I know you want to spend time with me.”
Me: “Don’t you like me being with you?”
G: “Yes, but I liked when you went...where did you go again?”
Me: “New Orleans.”
To which he followed up with a bunch of questions:
How did you get there?
Did you work on that plane?
Where did you buy my alligator shirt?
Where did you sleep?
Who were you with?
Why did he like me going to New Orleans for work? Partly because he could sense my joy from the experience and started to take interest.
Are you excited about a work trip? Share why you're excited: location, sites, food
Working on a project? Let them see and learn.
Proud of something you've accomplished? Tell them so they can be proud too.
Don't make decisions out of guilt. They'll likely be poor decision. If you are feeling guilty about the work, that's perceived to be taking time away from your kids, engage them in conversation so they too can feel those positive emotion of the situation and take pride in you.
Take notice of your guilt and then rid the guilt from your life.
To Your Health and Success!
Old School Modern Mama,
SOURCES:
Harvard Business School